Psychotherapy Specializations
Maternal Neglect | The Mother Wound
As a daughter, does Mothers Day feels like an uncomfortable obligation for you?
Societal narratives often suggest that mothers are loving and protective caregivers, however that wasn’t your experience.
You may often hear other women speaking about the relationships they have with their mothers and how close and connective those relationships are, which leaves you wondering what you've done wrong, because you can’t relate to that type of caregiving dynamic at all.
In fact, those supportive mother-daughter experiences you keep hearing other women speak about, are probably as opposite of your relationship with your own mom or primary caregiver as it gets.
The connection you have with your Mom may often feel quite confusing and stress inducing. You experience her as cold, uninterested and critical of you, which is very much at odds with how other people experience and speak of her.
You’ve frequently been told that you just need to talk to her because after all “she’s your mother” and “she’s the only one you’ve got” yet regardless of how hard you try and how much energy you put into this relationship this approach has backfired.
You feel disappointed, neglected, judged and humiliated
Perhaps you’ve never felt you were good enough to gain her love and approval because nothing you’ve done has ever been perceived as good enough. It could be that in the relationship dynamics with your mother she doesn’t even ask how you are, yet in the conversations that do ensue she's skillfully quick to point out what you’ve missed or overlooked and always with an underlying tone of disapproval.
Interactions like these leave you feeling small and drained, like no matter what you do or say, you never feel like you're enough! Scenarios like these may even cause you to feel even more guilt about how you really do feel towards her.
Along with these…
Perhaps you struggle with trusting yourself and how you feel because when you grew up, how you felt didn’t matter.
You don’t feel like you're worthy of love or attention and receiving these can feel awkward and uncomfortable.
Perhaps you're constantly doubting yourself and the decisions or choices that you're making.
You may have experiences of disordered eating.
Perhaps you struggle with boundary setting and have a tendency to people-please.
Frequently your inner dialogue amplifies criticism and causes you to feel like you're unworthy or perhaps a failure.
Your Mom hasn’t nurtured you.
Most of my clients experiencing challenging and painful relationships with their mothers are struggling to navigate a relationship with a significant figure in their lives that’s also had a profound impact on their self worth.
In actuality, many of these women simply want peace of mind when it comes to the relationship they have with their mother and yet they often come to me because they fear they may not have the tools they need to navigate the changes in their current mother-daughter dynamic.
The goal for my work with clients like you is to support you in navigating the relationship you have (or have had) with your mother and its deep impacts on you.
By working through the layers of this relational dynamic that you’ve been wrestling with for your entire life, my work aims to help you begin feeling like your own person, capable of trusting yourself and your decisions.
Therapeutic support for wrestling with maternal neglect isn’t:
About me or any other therapist asking you to re-tell all the difficult and painful details of your childhood experiences.
It is not about me or any other therapist telling you that it was your fault or that you provoked the incident/s because of a behavior/conversation/wardrobe choice or decisions.
Me asking you to read all the self-help, newest scientific research or blog posts on this topic and then charging session fees for this.
You receiving all the answers in one session and feeling like you're “fixed” or “healed” for good.
Therapy may be for you if:
Conversations with your mother often lead to guilt trips about what you’ve said.
The idea of becoming a mother is scary or frightening.
You're tired and resentful of being told "she's the only mother you have”.
Perhaps, as a mother to your own children, you notice that there are times that you feel resentful because you're providing the love, care and attention that you never received but are still yearning for.
You’ve divulged personal information to her that has then been used against you.
You’ve experienced little to no empathy from your mother or primary caregiver.
Therapy may be for you if:
Conversations with your mother often lead to guilt trips about what you’ve said.
The idea of becoming a mother is scary or frightening.
You're tired and resentful of being told "she's the only mother you have”.
Perhaps, as a mother to your own children, you notice that there are times that you feel resentful because you're providing the love, care and attention that you never received but are still yearning for.
You’ve divulged personal information to her that has then been used against you.
You’ve experienced little to no empathy from your mother or primary caregiver.
Therapeutic support for wrestling with maternal neglect isn’t:
About me or any other therapist asking you to re-tell all the difficult and painful details of your childhood experiences.
It is not about me or any other therapist telling you that it was your fault or that you provoked the incident/s because of a behavior/conversation/wardrobe choice or decisions.
Me asking you to read all the self-help, newest scientific research or blog posts on this topic and then charging session fees for this.
You receiving all the answers in one session and feeling like you're “fixed” or “healed” for good.
What happens when we first meet for an initial appointment?
We spend time getting clear on what you need and how I can best support you in moving in the direction you desire.
Working with women who want this freedom and peace of mind for themselves is exciting because the reality is - you already have the resilience and desire within you. These formidable aspects of yourself have brought you here to this moment and will carry you forward in the context of this relationship.
My clients are tenacious, they’ve persevered through some very difficult interpersonal dynamics and they’re engaging in therapy so that they can discover their autonomy, and self-confidence while also improving their emotional health.
Not only that, they’re fostering deeper and healthier relationships, they’re becoming better at discerning who to give their energy to and they’re establishing boundaries that support their personal well-being, important aspects that they deserve to experience!
You’re welcome here exactly as you are.
Working with women who want this freedom and peace of mind for themselves is exciting because the reality is - you already have the resilience and desire within you. These formidable aspects of yourself have brought you here to this moment and will carry you forward in the context of this relationship.
My clients are tenacious, they’ve persevered through some very difficult interpersonal dynamics and they’re engaging in therapy so that they can discover their autonomy, and self-confidence while also improving their emotional health.
Not only that, they’re fostering deeper and healthier relationships, they’re becoming better at discerning who to give their energy to and they’re establishing boundaries that support their personal well-being, important aspects that they deserve to experience!
Please know that what we discuss during our time together is 100% confidential.
Initially, as we begin our work together, you may feel some emotions arise, this is entirely normal. I want to assure you that the pace and the information you choose to disclose to me, along with the solutions or tools for coping are up to you.
I've discovered that the clients who begin this type of therapy are some of the most tenacious and adaptive women I’ve met. The opportunity to support you in moving forward in your life in a way that feels good and healthy for you is a privilege.